Darkly Dawns the Duck [I & II]

"This is the city of St. Canard. Like any other major metropolis it has its problem with the criminal element," is Darkwing's premier narration in this tale of how Darkwing, Launchpad McQuack, and Gosalyn Waddlemeyer came together.
After DW's narrating line, we see an establishing shot of St. Canard. Then he mounts the Ratcatcher and busts a gang of street punks. After turning them into the police, he gets depressed over his lack of media attention. ("And to think I spent all afternoon ironing this cape") He returns to his hideout on the Audubon Bay Bridge for a training course, breakfast. Breakfast consists of shooting knives and forks, speeding grapefruit, spitting cereal, and a springing fridge that lands on DW. He always forgets the milk. After breakfast he goes to bed, wishing he'd get a shot at a real "big-time criminal."
Meanwhile, Taurus Bulba tells Hammerhead Hannigan and Hoof and Mouth of his plans to steal the Waddlemeyer Ramrod off of a train.

  BULBA: That's because I am the brain and you are the stooge.
  HAMMERHEAD: That's right, I'm a stooge.  Just call me Curly.

Actually he's in prison which is really his high-tech hideout. He tells the proud warden that prison suits his business needs "perfectly."

Darkwing catches sight of Bulba's condor Tantalus carrying a package through the air. He chases it into the hills and boards the train.
Hoof and Mouth have replaced the soldiers on the train and Hammerhead busts into the car with the Ramrod. Darkwing recognizes Hoof and Mouth as Bulba's henchmen and beats the tar out of them. However, the conductor snaps a picture or two of him on top of the "soldiers." Darkwing thinks that he's there to report on the heroic deed. So he tells the conductor to send the picture to all the major dailies. Hammerhead comes out of the car and tells Darkwing to "paste this in your scrapbook." Darkwing is slammed against the door to the other car.

  DARKWING: That's gonna leave a mark.

Hammerhead tells the vigilante to run along to his costume party. The car rockets off the tracks thanks to the package Tantalus was carrying, which was a jetpack. However, Darkwing latches onto the flying car with a grappling hook and is soon trailing behind it in the air. With Bulba's instructions ("Who's that clown? He doesn't look like one of mine.") Tantalus snaps the rope and Darkwing falls into the hangar of Launchpad McQuack.
Launchpad assaults Darkwing, thinking he's a crook of sorts. However, when he recognizes Darkwing he tells him that he's a big fan. When Darkwing finds out he's an aviator he insists LP takes him up in a biplane. Launchpad says he has something better in the other hangar but Darkwing bribes the pilot with his autograph and they're airborne within a matter of seconds.

  LAUNCHPAD:  I even have a scrapbook of all your newspaper 
   clippings.  Of course, it's not a very big scrapbook.
  DARKWING: Wouldn't it help if we were flying the other way?
  LAUNCHPAD:  Whoops.  I sometimes have trouble with that.

There's a long air chase that ends with the plane crashing.

  DARKWING: They-they... They got away.
  LAUNCHPAD: Can't argue that point, DW.  So what do we do next?

Darkwing insists that there is no "we" and that he works alone. Only singing cowboys need sidekicks. Launchpad begs pitifully.

  DARKWING: I never want to see you again.  Ever!
  LAUNCHPAD: Okay, so do you want my phone number?

* Bulba has sent Hammerhead and the goons to get Gosalyn Waddlemeyer who is the only potential person who knows the arming code. The Ramrod was her grandfather's invention. Someone arranged an accident for the professor, before Bulba could learn the code.
At the orphanage he convinces Mrs. Cavanaugh that he knew the family and it was him in the background of a picture he had. It's not a grape jelly stain, it's a tear stain, honest.
Note: --> Gosalyn is voiced by a Christine Cavanaugh. The orphanage lady is also Mrs. Cavanaugh.

  MRS. CAVANAUGH:  This is Gosalyn Waddlemeyer, 
   alright.  You know her and you willingly came to visit?

Gosalyn then bursts through the window and plays the hockey puck of Hammerhead's snout. She is allowed to go on a walk with the ram.
She realizes they really aren't on the orphanage ground then is rushed by the whole Bulba gang (excluding Bulba, of course). She beats them up and Darkwing picks her up as he speeds by on the Ratcatcher.
She tries to beat up Darkwing and is convinced that he's "one of the bad guys" until the "bad guys" start shooting at *them*. He tries to drop her off at the police station, but they think he's assaulting them and start opening fire on him too. The cops are after him because they think he committed the train robbery. Darkwing jumps into the bay on his bike with Gosalyn. * Darkwing's alright, of course, they just lay low in the tower. He is pretty much blackmailed into keeping Gosalyn with him.
* Taurus knows that Darkwing and Gosalyn are still alive somehow.

  BULBA:  That costumed clown is too concerned 
   about his image to kill a little girl!

He tells Clovis that it's time to say good-bye to the warden. The stone walls break off and Bulba's airship rises out and away.

  BULBA: Clovis, take us down town.  I think it's time I met this Darkwing Duck.

[end of part 1]

[begin part 2]

Darkwing and Gosalyn goof around in the tower and Darkwing tells her "hey, it's no fair tickling." Gosalyn turns on the "radio" and starts breakfast! She does really well, probably even beat his own record, but he won't admit it.
The fridge still falls on him.
Gosalyn tells him he needs to be more careful and hands him a helmet he stashed away in the closet. He says he doesn't wear it because it doesn't look dramatic. She tells him that scrambled brains don't either.
She asks why he wears a mask and he tells her it is dreadful to the criminal mind since it is unknown. She asks him if he will take it off for a really close friend. He says maybe, someday. She says, hey, it's a start.
* Bed time. Darkwing's going out for the night and puts Gosalyn to bed. They discuss the Ramrod issue and he tucks her in.

  GOSALYN: I can't sleep!
  DARKWING: Maybe you just need something to relax you.
   I think I have a large mallet around here somewhere.
  GOSALYN: Grampa used to always sing me a lullaby.

Darkwing doesn't do lullabies, so he tells her to sing him one of Grampa's so he can sing it back to her.
"Close your eyes, little girl blue, inside of you lies a rainbow.
Yellow, blue, red, blue, purple, too, blue, purple, and green, then the yellow."
Darkwing sings his version:
"Rest your head, little girl blue, come paint your dreams on your pillow.
I'll be near to chase away fear, so sleep now and dream till tomorrow."
He repeats the last line (plus "Good-night, Gosalyn") and promptly falls asleep.
A little bit later, he awakes to the little girl blue's sleeping. "This kid could wake Elvis. Sure is sweet though." He then sings a little bit to himself and looks at the picture Gosalyn clutches of herself and Professor Waddlemeyer hugging and giggling in front of the Ramrod.

  DARKWING: Hold the phone!  The lyrics match the 
   colors on the Ramrod!  She's had the arming code all
   along and never even knew it.  And for her sake, it 
   better stay that way.

He then notices some "lighting? without thunder?" No, he tells himself, the pattern's too regular for lightning.
In fact, it's NOT lightning, but from Bulba's airship. It's morse code. He explains to his goons that he knows Darkwing's weakness: he has an ego the "size of a small planet!" The message says that Taurus Bulba, the criminal genius, seeing the error of his ways, was willing to turn himself over, but only to Darkwing Duck.

  HAMMERHEAD:  But what if he doesn't know Morse Code?
  BULBA:  That do-gooder?  He probably sleeps with his boy
   scout handbook underneath his pillow!

  DARKWING: [reaches underneath his pillow and pulls out 
   a boy scout handbook] Sure glad I saved this baby!

He decodes it. "Yes! Headline city!" Gosalyn yawns and asks if he won the lottery. She thinks it's a bunch of crap and says "you said he was a criminal genius. why would he surrender to YOU?"
Darkwing is severely offended. After a brief exchange of words, he leaves to meet Bulba... in his helmet.
* Darkwing shows up on top of a building. "I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am... feeling really stupid! I hate it when I'm early. You'd think criminal geniuses would be more punctual."
Bulba, from behind him, apologizes. Darkwing feels powerless.

  DARKWING: What?
  BULBA: I manipulated you like a puppet.
  DARKWING: Well... I manipulated you into 
   manipulating me!

Bulba leaves, he has a date on the bridge with a little girl. But he called the cops. While he sails away on his airship, Darkwing is wrestled to the ground by the police.

  DARKWING: GOSALYYYYYN!

* Gosalyn talks to her Grandfather through the window in the tower. "I guess I messed it up again." But this dramatic moment is interrupted by Hammerhead jumping into the window. Breakfast time.
She bests them with breakfast, but Tantalus grabs her and takes her to Bulba anyway.

  GOSALYN:  Darkwing Duck is gonna crush you 
   like a stale corn chip!
  BULBA: [laughs] Your Darkwing Duck was playing 
   way out of his league.  Now your Darkwing Duck is 
   just another jailbird.

* Indeed he is. But he's also sharing a cell with the pig from the street punk gang I mentioned earlier. "Payback time," he pounds his fist in his palm. "You was only lucky the last time." "I was lucky everytime!" Darkwing says. "I don't stand a chance against gorillas like you. Go ahead, hit me! I'll fold like a napkin!" he forces the pigs fist into his own beak. "You call that a hit? C'mon!"
"Hey!" the pig retracts his hand. "Get away from me. You're weird!"
"Oh!" Darkwing cries. "Now there's an understatement. I could have had a life, but no! I had to be a clown in a mask and a cape. All I need is floppy shoes and a bozo news," he jumps onto the belly of the punk. "My life is nothing but case files and chemistry sets. I don't even have a friend to turn to for help."
Just then Launchpad backs the Ratcatcher through the wall. "Whoops. I thought that was reverse."

  DARKWING:  Launchpad?  Launchpad!  What are you doing here?
  LAUNCHPAD:  When the cops took you away, this was 
   left behind.  I figured I'd come to bail you out. 
   [looks at the hole he created in the prison wall]  
   Guess there's not point to that now.
  DARKWING:  Don't worry.  Heroes don't stop for paper 
   work.  And maybe this clown can still be a hero.

They drive off and when Darkwing mentions the airship Launchpad tells his hero he can help.

[switch to flying in the Thunderquack]

"I call it sensational," Darkwing says.
Darkwing soon calls LP his sidekick. Let's just say he's really happy. For the first time, Darkwing says "Let's get Dangerous." They blow an entry hole into the side of the ship, which is resting above Canard Tower. "Hero away!" he launches DW on the Ratcatcher into it. Within, Darkwing beats up all the goons. Then he sees Bulba holding Gosalyn above him, ready to splat her to the ground. He surrenders.

  GOSALYN: If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't 
   have had to risk your life.
  DARKWING: Gosalyn, before I met you, I didn't
   have a life worth risking.  [she hugs him]

Bulba says Gosalyn has too much spirit to give him the arming code. Tantalus picks her up and takes her into the air. Darkwing tells him that he doesn't know the code. He thinks that might be right, but he's always considered himself "a gambling man." He nods to Tantalus who drops Gosalyn.

  DARKWING: I'll tell!

Tantalus zooms down and picks up Gosalyn.

  GOSALYN:  To think I used to pay for rides like that.

Darkwing punches in the code, the colors, on the Ramrod. It works. Bulba blows open the Federal Gold Depository. He puts all the gold into the airship. He plans to hit every bank in the country.

  DARKWING: So you're done with Gosalyn?
  BULBA: Oh, quite.  [nods to Tantalus, who drops Gosalyn]
  DARKWING: You butcher! [kicks Bulba in the 
   stomach, who doubles over]

The Thunderquack zips down and rescues Gosalyn.
Bulba is ready to shoot Darkwing now. He instructs Hammerhead to "shoot the smoke" while Darkwing gives his intro speech. However, Darkwing appears next to the Ramrod.

  DARKWING:  Now how does this work?

Darkwing randomly presses buttons and overloads the system. It shoots Hoof and Mouth. They begin to float away when Hammerhead tells them to grab onto something, but they grab onto him and all three float away.
The gold falls out of the airship. Clovis parachutes out. "Mom was right. I should have been a dental hygienist."

  DARKWING:  I think this is where the hero makes 
   his dramatic exit.
[Bulba picks Darkwing up as Darkwing struggles to escape.]
  BULBA:  I underestimated you once, Darkwing Duck.
   This time, you simply die!

The Ramrod explodes violently, taking out the whole top portion of Canard Tower.
* Someone wants to see Gosalyn back at the orphanage. But Gosalyn is depressed.
Darkwing is dead.
Mrs. Cavanaugh tells Mr. Mallard in the lobby that she doesn't want to see anybody. Wait... is that Darkwing's voice? A duck in a green shirt is in many bandages.

  CAVANAUGH:  Looks like you've seen better days yourself.
  DARKWING:  Oh?  The bandages!  Just a little kitchen
   accident.  I seem to have trouble making breakfast.  
   I always forget the milk.

Gosalyn runs in and jumps on Drake Mallard, or Darkwing Duck. "Watch the ribs kid! I gotta take better care of myself if I'm gonna have an adopted daughter to worry about."

  DARKWING:  If it's okay with Mrs. Cavanaugh I 
   was wondering if we might go house hunting?
  CAVANAUGH:  But how do you manage to drive in that 
   condition?
  DARKWING:  Oh, I have help.

Just then, Launchpad backs in through the wall in a blue car.

  LAUNCHPAD:  Oh, so that's reverse!  I thought it was park.

Gosalyn giggles.