Twin Beaks

Cut to: The Thunderquack, which is all OVER the sky. Darkwing is tossed around. He yells at Launchpad, who is flying with his feet while reading. Launchpad tells him that police use psychics to solve some cases. Darkwing asks what kind of tripe he's reading, and Launchpad hands him the book. "It's the latest in the Incredibly Large and Weird Books For Your Coffee Table Collection". DW scoffs that there's no *easy* way to solve a crime; logic, deduction, and clues are what it takes.
Darkwing: "That's how I locked Bushroot up in the first place."
Launchpad: "I thought it was because he was hiding in the back of the police car."
Darkwing: "Just fly the plane!"

Cut to the Penn; Bushroot is still standing at the window. Darkwing threatens him with weed killer, but the Warden says he hasn't moved in two weeks. DW checks the clues; Bushroot is wilted, dry, and brown (in fact he's a rather creepy looking husk with empty eye sockets)... The conclusion: "Bushroot, scourge of the plant kingdom... Is dead." Launchpad decides to check for auras, which involves lots of arm-waving around the husk.
Darkwing: "Excuse my sidekick... His brain seems to be having an out-of-body experience."
While Darkwing is emphatically pronouncing Bushroot dead, LP trips over a vine which he traces to, and out, the window. Evidently, Bushroot isn't dead; he's sprouted right through the wall, growing himself a new body and leaving the old one.

At home, Launchpad and Gosalyn sit with pyramids on their heads, in the lotus position. Drake mocks them, but Gosalyn says that if she can read her teacher's mind she'll never have to study again. Drake asks her if she can tell what he's thinking right now, and she jumps down and says that she'd better go upstairs and do her homework. Launchpad says that the pyramids are working already. As Drake glares at him, LP tells him he'd better get the door, and a second later the doorbell rings. It's Honker. Drake is stymied.
Honker begs for help: "It's my parents! They've been acting really..." He trails off, catching sight of Launchpad and Gosalyn still wearing pyramids. "Weird. I hope it's not contagious." Drake mocks the Muddlefoots, but Gosalyn is sympathetic. Honker says that his entire family disappeared, and so they go to his house to look for clues.

At the Muddlefoots', the entire floor is covered in dirt. Launchpad comments that Binkie's a little behind on her housework.
Honker: "Mom's been gardening."
Darkwing: "INSIDE the house!?"
DW begins to look for clues, and Launchpad says that he'll go check for auras. DW mocks him. Walking around with his eyes shut, LP trips over a giant cabbage. "This baby could keep me in coleslaw for a month!" Honker says that his Aunt Trudy sent it; it gives him hives. Examining the TV they find a tape in the VCR: "Gardening With Gertie". Gosalyn notices some of the weird cabbages in the background, and Darkwing yelps, then points to the shrubbery in the tape.
Launchpad: "Not some of that pesky mildew?"
DW: "Nooo, but you're close!"
It's Bushroot. Darkwing starts crowing that he's solved the case, but Gosalyn and other point out that he needs more clues. Launchpad starts using a dowsing rod on a map to find the Muddlefoots, as Darkwing checks the video's box. Launchpad, blindfoled, walks into Darkwing and stabs the map. Gosalyn reads the box as Honker reads the map- both say "Twin Beaks."
Gosalyn: "Weird."

Slow music begins the scene. It's a country town with two mountainous peaks behind it, each with a small outcropping of rock resembling a beak. (The music and the setting of the town is a reference to the television series "Twin Peaks", about a murder mystery in a small town named for the twin mountain range near it. The music in this scene parodies the theme song.) People in the town pass by; a man on a bike with a small cabbage, a woman with a cabbage in a baby carriage. We see Trudi's Diner, with a cabbage and Binkie as customers. A Binkie lookalike pours coffee; she wears a pink dress and an eyepatch. (Trudi is another reference to "Twin Peaks"; she's a combination of two characters from the series: Norma, who ran a diner with great coffee and pie, and Nadine, a woman who had an eyepatch.) Trudi pauses and gazes up at the mountains. Outside, men work in a field- alongside more cabbages. Herb is among them. Cows watch in the background. By a waterfall, two men toss another Bushroot husk, wrapped in plastic, into the water. (Yes, another Twin Peaks reference... The body of Laura Palmer was found washed up on the shore, wrapped in plastic.) The ThunderQuack flies overhead.

Launchpad announces that they're in Twin Beaks- he'll be putting on the blindfold to land, so that his subconscious isn't distracted by anything he sees (Darkwing: "Like those TREES?"). He flies into some trees and comes to a stop. Gosalyn says it was his smoothest landing ever.
Darkwing: "Amazing! Maybe there is something to that subconscious brain of you..." He trails off as he falls out of the tree, which is quite a ways above ground. "Or maybe not."

Wandering through the forest, they hear sounds of cows. Gosalyn reasons there must be a farm near.
Darkwing: "With Duck Skywalker over there, using the power of the Farce, it's a wonder we managed to land on the same planet!"
Launchpad gets a faroff look on his face and wanders off. The others notice he's gone, and they follow him to a cow pasture, where he is standing with a log held to his head. He proclaims t hat "The Cows are not what they seeeeem!" (Two more "Twin Peaks" references; one woman in the series carried around a log, which sometimes gave words of wisdom that she "translated". Also, "The owls are not what they seem" was a cryptic utterance by another character.)
Gosalyn: "Weird."
Honker: "Even for Launchpad."
LP proceeds to give directions to the town and Trudi's Diner, and recommends the coffee. Darkwing taunts him about the cow telling him that. "Don't be silly, DW," he says. "This LOG gabe me the directions. The cow just warned us not to order the coffee." The other three look shocked.

A question mark wipes to Trudi's Diner. They enter, as Launchpad is saying that it's the place the log recommends. Darkwing does a take- a huge portion of the customers are cabbages! (Which leads one to wonder how they are holding those papers up...) There's even a "little cabbage's room". Darkwing exclaims that this IS the source of the cabbages, and Bushroot is behind it all! However, he doesn't know what "it" is yet, and needs more clues. Launchpad said the log thinks that Bushroot is innocent. The Binkie lookalike enters, and recognizes Honker.
"Hello, Aunt Trudi," he says. "This is Darkwing Duck. He's helping me find my parents."
Darkwing flirts with Trudi, who doesn't seem to notice. She tells Honker that his parents are out back, helping with "the harvest". Honker runs outside.
Trudi: "Well, that's Binkie for ya. She must've just forgotten him!"

Outside, Honker finds his parents holding another cabbage. As they come near him, a duplicate of him starts to pop out of it.

In the distance, by the mountains, cows low in the moonlight.

Back in the diner, Launchpad mentions that something strange is going on.
Darkwing: "Noooo, *strange* is learning your wife is an Elvis impersonator from the Bermuda Triangle. *This* place... is downright bizarre."
Trudi serves them coffee, and says that the town just feels particularly close to their plants. Darkwing drinks, and says the coffee tastes like fertilizer; Launchpad says, maybe next time you'll listen to to the cows! At the word "cows", everyone- including Trudi - screams and runs away. Darkwing formulates a theory.
Darkwing: "Cows make milk. Milk goes bad. The coffee is bad. Bushroot's bad! You see? It all CONNECTS!"
Launchpad and Gos just stare at him. He sits down. They begin to argue over whether or not the log and the "subconscious mind" are right, or whether logic and deduction are better - Darkwing says he's NOT following some log into the woods.

Wipe- they're in the woods. Darkwing is just coming along to show them how "ridiculous" this is, he claims. Then he trips over Bushroot, wrapped in plastic. They all gather 'round the husk, and Gosalyn says it blows Darkwing's swell theory about him. She says she's going to leave.
Darkwing: "Aren't you just a *bit* curious as to how a mutant plant duck breaks out of prison and ends up wrapped in plastic?"
Gos: "How else do you keep vegetables fresh?"
Darkwing says he has a few questions to ask the log. Through the bushes, Herb watches Gosalyn walk off alone...

Gosalyn walks through the woods. She sees Honker, who scares her; then she asks where he's been. He says, helping his parents harvest these neat cabbages. He holds one out to her, just as another Honker yells to her to run- he's been rolled up by the Muddlefoot's. A Gosalyn clone grabs Gosalyn from behind. Gosalyn throws both her clone and the Honker clone into the Muddlefoots, then grabs Honker and runs. Honker tells her that they're alien plant beings who want to take over and replace everyone on earth. (This is similar to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", in which alien pods come to earth and duplicate humans.)
Gosalyn: "That plot doesn't sounds so cliche when it's happening to you!"
They come to a cliff. The clones are catching up. Then a light shines on them from above.

The light cuts to: Launchpad, asking Darkwing what happened to logic and deduction. Darkwing, wearing three pyramids on his head, says they're merely crutches for unenlightened minds. He ties a blindfold around his eyes, saying he's going to use his subconscious, then promptly walks into a tree and ends up knocking himself out.

Riding on a star, he realizes he's dreaming. He decides it's the perfect way to watch teh subconscious at work. The star dumps him and he falls, landing and sliding down a pyramid. The pyramid rises out of the sand, and Launchpad's giant head is underneath it. He says that the cows are not what they seem. Two cows wearing british "Bobbie" helmets and carrying clubs circle Darkwing and hit him. A ghostly Bushroot, wearing chains like Jacob Marley (from "A Christmas Carol") and carrying a log, moans "Look what they did to me!"
In a restaurant, a cow waiter serves Darkwing a cabbage, which bounces around and then spits out more and more cabbages. They start dancing. Darkwing runs among the lines of bouncing cabbages. They log runs by, saying in Bushroot's voice "They'll never take me alive, ahahahahaha!" Dozens of Herb and Binkies start popping out of the cabbages.
Darkwing: "Talk about a nightmare!"
The Muddlefoots start doing a line kick. Launchpad, riding a cow jumping over the moon, cries "You shoulda listened to us, DW!" The Muddlefoots have DW tied up to be thrown to a man eating cabbage. A giant shape bursts from the ground like the demon in "A Night On Bald Mountain"; it opens its han and light shows that it's a cow. The light brightens.

Darkwing wakes up. Angrily he tosses the hat away, saying that made no sense; what's "the Cows are not what they seem" supposed to mean!? Gosalyn says, why don't you ask her? and points at a large cow wearing a space helmet. She holds up a hoof and greets him.

Darkwing gapes at the cow. He has water splashed on him. He splutters that he is awake, but says that he's just gone crazy.
Gosalyn: "Cabbages from outer space are duplicating everyone in the world so they can take over the planet, and this cow, who's really an alien, has come here to recapture 'em. Just deal with it."
The Cow says she's from the Planet Larson, on the Far Side of the galaxy. (This is at least the second reference to "The Far Side", a long-running comic strip by Gary Larson. The first reference was in "Beauty and the Beet", when two nerdy characters were named Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson.) The cows have been in telepathic contact with some of the simpler-brained life forms... Like Launchpad, who brought them there while the plant creature spied on the enemy. At this, the log comes to life and expands into- Bushroot!
Launchpad: "Whoa! This guy's harder to kill than crabgrass!"
Bushroot: "Hey! I may be a mutant plant duck, sure. But I'm an EARTH mutant plant duck!"
The Cow says they'll be there soon, with reinforcements, and blinks out. Apparently it was just a holographic transmission.

The cabbages are being shipped out to other towns. Darkwing and the others make their move. DW and LP go into the diner with a weed whacker attachment on the gas gun. Then, as Herb and Binkie clones are loading up a bus, LP- dressed as a farm- runs up and tells them to get the crop back to the barn as there's a swarm of flying cabbage beetles coming. Gosalyn swoops down and scares them off.
Gosalyn: "Hey, when you need plague and pestilence, I'm your duck!"
She goes to check on Honker, who is mixing something. The Muddlefoots come in with cabbages. Honker hesitates, then shoots them with the liquid. The Muddlefoots squeal and run out.
Gosalyn: "Keen Gear, Honk! What is that stuff, weed killer?"
Honker: "Nope. Salad dressing."

Bushroot rallies the plant troops. "Cornstalks! Lend me your ears!" The corn holds cobs like guns and advance. Tomatoes and pumpkins are thrown.
Bushroot: "No one's gonna call us a bunch of pansies!" As a bunch of ticked off flowers disapprove, he amends his statement.

The tide starts turning as the cabbages begin producing Darkwing clones. They disarm Darkwing and Honker and, while wearing gas masks, shoot weed killer at Bushroot's troops. A Binkie Clone threatens to turn them to mulch, but just then a pink ray shoots her and she de-volves back into a cabbage. More rays hit hte others. The alien cows have arrived!

Later, the Muddlefoots are recovering. The Cow apologizes, saying a radiation leak on their farms caused this mutation.
Cow: "Our food was *never* meant to become intelligent."
Bushroot is horrified that they *eat* these cabbages; it seems barbaric! Darkwing agrees, in light of all that just happened.
Cow: "Oh *really*? And when's the last time YOU had a steak sandwich!?"
Darkwing: "Actually I'm more of a PB&J man myself, heh heh."
The Cow says that if even one of the cabbages had escaped, it would have been disastrous. No one notices Bushroot run off with a cabbage.
Bushroot: "Being the world's only mutant plant-duck is a *lonely* job- but not anymore! C'mon baby, there's a whole world to show ya!"